Monday, January 4, 2010

"Break Down Here"

I woke up January 2nd at 8am for the Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual Sale. The biggest sale of all time (to women, of course). Underwear for $3? Don't mind if i do. I pulled a smart move and decided to heat up the car before we headed out. In midst of the 17 degree weather and my running to make it there faster, I missed the important fact that my entire parking lot was covered in ice. On a hill. And here I go. In a flash, I could see my legs flying up over my head, the sky blue, and the ground a few feet under me that I was guaranteed to hit in 3.. 2.. 1.. I landed on my backside. Next to hit was my elbow. I sat there and scanned the area to make sure no one saw my acrobatics. In a usually busy parking lot, not a soul in sight and not a soul saw me. I picked myself up, brushed off the icy dust, and tried again. And in the midst of all this commotion I hadn't seen it.. the beautiful snow falling around me.

In 2010, as with previous years, I have made 'resolutions' that seem more like 'bad decisions' after 2 months of not sticking with it. But this year's resolution is different. This year, quitting a bad habit, gaining money, and losing weight are not the priorities on my list. Sure, it would be nice to check these things off, but this year, I'm looking at the big picture. The whole year. I have prepared myself for a long road ahead that includes hard work, determination, and eliminating the option of ever giving up. My uncle Mitch never gave up.. so I'm following his lead. There will come a time when I might climb the ladder of this music industry and get knocked down on my backside, and land on more than my elbow but I will pick myself up, and try again. I will try, and try, and try, until I'm standing up and see the beautiful things falling around me. (And if you keep God in the picture, He will make sure that when you fall, no one sees you make an idiot out of yourself.) There is a grand possibility that I might get my heartbroken. There is a definite possibility that I will hear the word 'no'. But through all of this lies the beauty of something great, and the reasoning of why I am here.

Now, what I didn't tell you is that my butt is bruised, my tailbone is sore, and my elbow is cut up. After living here for only six months now, I can tell that I will have many more ailments. Some due to icy weather that I'm not used to, and some due to the musical politics of this city. "Everybody's your friend, you can never be sure", sings Sugarland. You can chase a dream but you can't get lost in it. You must keep your faith, your family, and your gut feelings close by. But throw the fear out the window. During this journey, whether it takes me 10 months or 10 years, I will come out of this with a few bumps and bruises, inside and out, but all for a reason.

Here I come 2010.

"No matter how dark the moment, hope and love are always possible."

Happy NEW year everyone! xo, Meagan Rae

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